I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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