Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
