If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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