White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
