Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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