Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
