I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
