im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we're making bets on your personal life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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