after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
