I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
