My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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