I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
