My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
