Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
