question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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