Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
