I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
