My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
