ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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