Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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