Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
