Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
