All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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