the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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