So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
