He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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