so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
