small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
