3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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