He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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