Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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