I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
