Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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