i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
