There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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