And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
