"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
