i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize