My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook