Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.

  (1-865): View more from Tennessee

  i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.

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  (865): mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml. (1-865): i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi. http://tfl.nu/9era
  Replies (35) Good night (599) Bad night (1306)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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  (847): I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops? http://tfl.nu/7gnj
  Replies (12) Good night (2983) Bad night (540)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

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  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (25953) Bad night (1565)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

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  (403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8
  Replies (9) Good night (5993) Bad night (1146)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.

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  (910): I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him. http://tfl.nu/a5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (1420) Bad night (2343)
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  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3119) Bad night (1358)
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  (949): View more from California

  Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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  (949): Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later. http://tfl.nu/ckzf
  Replies (10) Good night (2392) Bad night (871)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself

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  (570): Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself http://tfl.nu/yahv
  Replies (3) Good night (908) Bad night (1885)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.

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  (405): He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/m9rk
  Replies (4) Good night (2686) Bad night (541)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.

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  (612): CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me. http://tfl.nu/rba5
  Replies (10) Good night (1653) Bad night (436)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome! 

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  (330): At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!  http://tfl.nu/byi2
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (1018)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.

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  (251): We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan. http://tfl.nu/qlyy
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (416)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

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  (719): id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex... http://tfl.nu/l03p
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (295)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on

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  (718): I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on http://tfl.nu/z8s8
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (317)
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  (607): View more from New York

  She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third

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  (607): She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third http://tfl.nu/te0l
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (322)

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