I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
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Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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