i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident