Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I miss Bob Barker.

(808): View more from Hawaii

Yeah, more like Douche Carey...

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(816): I miss Bob Barker. (808): Yeah, more like Douche Carey... http://tfl.nu/37q6

Replies (12) Good night (1645) Bad night (738)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...

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(412): I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student... http://tfl.nu/ab9h

Replies (25) Good night (6003) Bad night (1818)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.

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(952): i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware. http://tfl.nu/z086

Replies (4) Good night (2683) Bad night (1681)
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(705): View more from Ontario

My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.

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(705): My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/aval

Replies (4) Good night (2355) Bad night (912)
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(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(269): We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all. http://tfl.nu/epk0

Replies (4) Good night (1797) Bad night (780)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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(720): I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk http://tfl.nu/2ycv

Replies (13) Good night (3798) Bad night (1076)
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(325): View more from Texas

I fcuked ip.

(214): View more from Texas

Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?

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(325): I fcuked ip. (214): Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge? http://tfl.nu/167p

Replies (2) Good night (1470) Bad night (583)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.

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(724): I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport. http://tfl.nu/pho6

Replies (12) Good night (820) Bad night (1527)
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(765): View more from Indiana

According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.

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(765): According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top. http://tfl.nu/djvr

Replies (3) Good night (2351) Bad night (505)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.

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(720): I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned. http://tfl.nu/lcb4

Replies (4) Good night (1259) Bad night (379)
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(623): View more from Arizona

I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

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(623): I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby http://tfl.nu/cxps

Replies (6) Good night (943) Bad night (386)
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(512): View more from Texas

I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

(512): View more from Texas

It was just one of those nights, man.

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(512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y

Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (609)
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(360): View more from Washington

You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".

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(360): You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes". http://tfl.nu/hqd9

Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (446)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails

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(703): I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails http://tfl.nu/g65f

Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (490)
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(718): View more from New York

I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!

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(718): I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID! http://tfl.nu/uzuv

Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (535)

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