I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
