You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
