I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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