i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize