I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I touched a dick in church today
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
