So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
