nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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