i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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