so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just threw up on my dentist
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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