If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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