Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
