i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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