I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
