Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
