Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
