I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
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He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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