On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
