I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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