5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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