And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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