is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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