Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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