So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my poor anus
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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