Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
