just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
