she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
