i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
